To gain respect from others we have to respect ourselves first
If you don't care how people treat
you , you are lacking
in self esteem and confidence. Do you really want to live
like this? Are you satified with the outcome of yourself?
Can you look in the mirror and really respect yourself?
Having respect for yourself
To have respect for yourself is a women's first
consideration. Letting people know they cannot use you
is the first step in having respect for yourself. Many women
allow men to use them because they have no other place to
live. So they put up with it day after day, year after year.
There
are too many good programs out there for
women to choose from to help themselves out of a bad
situation. There are churches, Shelters, and some people
who will open thier homes to you and your children.
There is always a way out from a bad or abusive relation-
ship.
If you really
want to leave a relationship, you will
find the right way for you. I hear it so many times, ( but
I still love him ). I don't care how much you still love him ,
If he is still hurting you then where is the love he has for
you? How many chances have you gave him already?
Is he going to change for you? Ask yourself these questions.
Most likely he will never
change, and if you respond
to him in a loving way after he beats you up, then you
certainly do not have respect for yourself or your children.
It's never too late to try
again, to get your confidence
and take charge of your life in a safe way for you and your
children. You are the only one who can change your life.
If you have respect for yourself and your children then it is
time to show them and yourself that you can do what you
have to do in order to make a more peaceful life for you
and your children.
Never
go back
Some
women will allow themselves to be talked into
going back into the relationship. He calls and cries on the
phone saying how sorry he is and to please forgive him.
You begin to weaken, the more he talks the more he makes
you feel quilty about leaving him. More promises he will
make to you, just only give him one more chance, he says.
More then I would
like to think do go back to thier
spouses. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it gets worst
when you move back. You feel trapped all over again.
You have lost all of the confidence you had when you left.
All your hard work has gone down the drain. Your children
will suffer again If it won't work. The promises he made
will be lost within your arguments once again. Giving it
a try again does help sometimes.
But out of the women I know
most will tell you
they were dumb to think going back would help thier
lives. It's like a rose it blooms then it just dies. Just
like so many relationships today.
I would say if it doesn't work the first time it
most
likely will never work. Many women waste away for
years and years in hoping it will get better. But it never
does. does it?
You can
make a new life
A women is a born survivor just like a man. If
we put our minds to it we can do without things. We can
adapt to our new way of life. Ofcourse it will be a very hard
road to travel, but if you travel with love and hope for yourself
it will start to fall in place. The past is the only thing that is
in your way. Removing a hurtfull past is not a easy task.
In order to move ahead we must walk over the past to proceed
into our future. Knowing you can survive on your own
is the first concept in starting a way of life that will make
you happier.
Even a day can make a difference
in your life. Doing
something for yourself will greatly help you build your
confidence up. You will soon feel that you are not helpless
anymore. You can make your own decisions about your
life and about your children's future.
When you feel you have the capabilities
of doing one
thing in your life it will inspire you to do more things. Before
you know it you will not be scared anymore. You can breath
alot better and enjoy the choices you have made.
Your children will change too. They
might mind
you better and listen to you. They won't know what a big
step you have made but they will know that you are happier
and that you are less crabby towards them. It should bring
you and your children closer together as a family. You will
become a more calmer person and deal with life in a
differrent way then you have ever done before.
You have no
one that you have to hide from
if things don't go the right way. Happiness we all
deserve. Even you deserve it. Being a good person
and doing the right things in life will allow another
door to open. But you have to shut the door behind
you ( your past ) to open another.
In a relationship both have to want
it to work. Both
parties have to do the most and give the most to the relation-
ship. You have to have respect for each other's opinions
and views. If you are not working together to make it work
it will soon go down hill for both of you.
Dealing with each other is sometimes
very hard. You
both have different ways of doing things. He thinks he is
right and you think you are right. The sexes will forever
be separated in this reasoning. Who is right and who is
wrong. Who has more say so in the marriage is another
way the sexes will always disagree.
I really think that if we make ourselves equal
to
every situation it will be better solved in less time.
There should be more talk in relationships to solve
problems before they get out of hand. Before the
yelling starts to destroy the marriage.
Children suffer alot throughout a terrible marriage.
he hears your screaming even if he has his head covered
up by his pillow. He cries sometimes to think that you do
not love each other anymore. It is very hard for a child
to adapt to a home where there is always fighting going
on. It leaves emotional scars that might show up later
in the child's life. He might be a loner. He may get
depressed enough to want to hurt himself, or hurt you.
It also puts
a tremendous fear in family and friends
A mother may cry at night for her daughter to leave him.
A mother may hope that her son will leave the marriage.
A grandparents will fear that her grandchild will get hurt
either by abusive words or physically. Why don't they just
leave each other and get it over with.
It may be your life to live
it the way that you insist
on living it, Others suffer also with the decisions you make.
I do believe that if a marriage is beyond hope and both
have tried hard to make it work with out resolutions,
it is time to separate and move on. Staying with each
other because of the kids is not the answer for today.
A child can adapt to happiness more then hardship.
They will heal as you do, ( with time ).
